Apparently I'm really in the mood to write...and ponder lyrics

I don't know if you've heard of Dustin Kensrue, but you need to go get his CD right now.He's the lead singer of Thrice, but he put out a solo album a year or two ago.

Anyways, he's an incredible man of God and often alludes to passages of Scripture in his songs. He has a song called Please Come Home and it's based upon the parable of the prodigal son, but it's written from the perspective of the father in the story, that father being God.

That chorus has been on my heart lately.

I've felt so cold and apathetic to the things of God, and I really feel like this summer is an opportunity for me to reconnect with my Father. I desperately need it. I'm crying out for it!

But here are the lyrics...and seriously, go listen to the actual song.

It's incredibly moving.

I still stand here waiting

with my eyes fixed on the road,

and I fight back tears and wonder

if you're ever coming home.

Don't you know son that I love you?

And I don't care where you've been.

Yes and I'll be right here waiting

'til you come around the bend.

And I run to you and hold you close,

Won't let go again.

So please come home

Those lyrics really get to me.

I feel that that is the exact message that God is sending to me.

So please pray that I can give up the things that have entangled me and drawn me away from Him. I need that closeness so much

Red Eye

Ask me I say I know
Oh it's sarcastic I take the show
Guess tonight I'm on my own

Cold rush in my veins
Oh I can't believe myself
Guess tonight I'm all alone

Now you're the only thing that keeps me moving here

So tonight, I'll take the Red Eye
I won't say goodnight, I won't tonight.

You say, please please don't go away
I'd beg if you'd ever stay
All those nights we've left alone

You wonder what I'll say
Oh, it's not worth it to lose someone
But tonight I'm on my own

Now you're the only thing that keeps me hanging on

So tonight, I'll take the Red Eye
I won't say goodnight, I won't tonight.
And tonight, I'll take the Red Eye
I won't say goodnight, I won't tonight.

Won't you stay with me a while?
I could never.
Won't you stay with me a while?
I could never.

So tonight, I'll take the Red Eye
I won't say goodnight, I won't tonight.

Cold rush to my veins,
Oh I can't believe myself
Wonder what I'll say
Oh it's not worth it to lose someone

- Ace Enders and a Million Different People

I really miss someone. I'll get to see her soon...maybe.
This song pretty accurately describes how I'm feeling right now.
I hope she decides to go. [I'm being discreet on purpose :) haha]

It's 4:30 somewhere!

Isn't that from some SNL skit?

I can't remember.
Anyways, It's been a while since I last wrote on here.
I need to update on life.

So last weekend Nathan and I ventured to Bentonville and Kansas City to see Dan, Leah, and Veronica. I also wanted to see Lauren. Nathan didn't know her so I can't include him in that. haha! The trip was so good. It was so good seeing friends again. This past month has literally felt like a year. I've never missed anything so much in my entire life. You need to go check out the pictures on Facebook if you haven't seen them already. I'm proud of my camera and the moments it was forever able to capture.

And then when I got back I was happy to find out that Dad and I get to continue living out here at the Bannings. We'd been wondering if we were gonna be able to stay because they were in last week and weren't very happy with how the place looked...which is bogus. I mean I'm not one to brag, but me and Dad did a pretty good job I thought. Dad got incredibly worried about it and kept talking about how we might move to Hinton and that he was looking at apartments. This wasn't helpful because then I got crazy worried about it. Geez...but it worked out alright! Answer to prayer right there.

Then on Monday I headed to Shawnee to FINALLY pay my swimming ticket. It's so nice to have that done and out of that way. It's been a big pain in my behind since it happened. I ran into Ashley and Lauren while I was there too, which was weird and funny at the same time...I'm not sure why. And then I met up with Scott in the city on ym way back and we watched the Incredible Hulk, which was great. But keep that on the down low...I haven't told Dad yet. I'm scared that he might be sad that I didn't wait to watch it with him.

Finally, yesterday, I started my second job out at Murray Services, which happens to be where Dad works. He got me the gig and I get to work out in the shop with him. It's been nice. The work isn't too hard, it's just the hours that wear me out. I haven't worked an 8 hour job since my sophomore year in high school, so I'm out of practice. I picked a good week to start working though! My boss bought all the guys breakfast yesterday and today he let us off two hours early with a full days pay, which apparently never happens. I'm pumped! It's the best job ever!!! Ok not really, but I like it at the moment.

So that's a snapshot of life for me at the moment. It's been nice and easy for the most part. Can't wait for the weekend though so I can see Anna and Mom! It'll be good

Anyways...Peace, Love, and Search The City

I pledge allegiance...blah, blah

So Jesus for President changed my life.

I feel like I should start with that. That book has shaped how I feel about this country and where it should stand when God is thrown in. Too many times the church wants to place country and God right next to each other. It's starting to bother me. So at the back of the book the authors have written a new pledge. It's super long, but I wanted to write just a bit of it because I think it's important to remember who has our allegiance first and foremost. This tiny bit may still be a little long. haha

Today we pledge our ultimate allegiance to the kingdom of God, we pledge allegiance.

To a peace that is not like Rome's, we pledge allegiance.

To the gospel of enemy-love, we pledge allegiance.

To the kingdom of the poor and broken, we pledge allegiance.

To a king who loves his enemies so much he died for them, we pledge allegiance.

To the least of these, with whom Christ dwells, we pledge allegiance.

To the transnational church that transcends the artificial borders of nations, we pledge allegiance.

To the refugee of Nazareth, we pledge allegiance.

To the homeless rabbi who had no place to lay his head, we pledge allegiance.

To the cross rather than the sword, we pledge allegiance.

To the banner of love above any flag, we pledge allegiance.

To the one who rules with a towel rather than an iron fist, we pledge allegiance.

To the one who rides a donkey rather than a war horse, we pledge allegiance.

To the revolution that sets both oppressed and oppressors free, we pledge allegiance.

To the way that leads to life, we pledge allegiance.

To the slaughtered Lamb, we pledge allegiance.

And together we proclaim his praises, from the margins of the empire to the centers of wealth and power.

Long live the slaughtered Lamb!

I long to live this life. I long to live a life that sees Jesus as the ultimate authority instead of America. May Pax Americana never take hold of my heart and my life. May they always be striving to please only you, Jesus

The (real) beginning to the summer

So here I am.
Back in Oklahoma. And to be honest I couldn't be happier. I've come to love it here. But to be honest, it think it's the closeness to friends and school that make it so loveable. I'm really excited about what this summer will hold for me. The work, the friends, the trips, the growth; I'm looking forward to it all. I really have a feeling that God is gonna use this time at Two Feathers Ranch to grow me and my dad together. The divorce has been hard on him, my sister and I. Luckily I've had a year closer to him, and we're doing much better, and I thank God for that, but there's still some work to be done. Yesterday was a good day. We just got to sit and talk at KFC, of all places, about God and life and whether Christians should kill and skepticism in the church and a bunch of other things. It was great and I enjoyed it very much and I think God is restoring a father and son to their prior relationship; before divorce was a part of the picture.

Things are really looking up. And for once in my life, I'm truly content with where I am. I'm usually looking off to some other point in my life, but I want to freeze right now. It's strange.

And, as you might be able to tell, I'm journaling again. I guess this is technically a blog, but I'll call it a journal. haha. It's been a long time since I've journaled so this will be another thing to add to the list of positive changes in my life. And props to Disch for kind of inspiring me to do this. You're a good friend!

Well, until next time...